My 1 Flaw

I guess, I am contending to a normal life.  So, something I do most people aren't trained to do is ...

I just realized, it eventually took extra energy living on a campus, but I suppose it would still work out.  I am wondering if I'm too old for what they do in college or if I'm behind.

... So, I post on line, a lot.  I seem to always fit in music, singing.  I used to do piano more.  I dunno.  Like, I played musicals, I guess, and was excited to do special music school in high school, Talented Music 2 years and 1 year Talented Theater and later a summer and year of weekends for music school at a big arts school in New Orleans.

Um...  So, the only thing I'm worried about would be that I like both singing and posting online.  I'm wondering about ballerinas.  I think they can post online.  I even don't think I should be a big reader, which I'm not.  I've read things and have excelled, maybe posting online.  I seem to post better than others though not as much, which is probably one of the deepest cuts for me.  I didn't post online all growing up but did e-mail.  I don't think that'd be why.  I wasn't really a very bad person compared to others.  Now, people I know aren't big even posting online, not even a blog, maybe.  People just stopped using Facebook and MySpace.  I am just so fascinated about keeping a daily blog to spew my hurt on.  Otherwise, I guess if I became some sort of "musician" which includes singing that I'd post about it on my blog and not much else, though now I guess I post about the movies!  I was worried because I think handwriting is a good thing that I'd keep a journal.  You know, I got the soundtrack to Brave, the Pixar about the Celtic girl.  So, I'm thinking of getting everything on iTunes and books even electronically.  What else?  Yea, there's Netflix online and even on TV now!  So, yea, you can get movies on iTunes.  I think I will do that.  I want to get rid of my stuff.  I do save my cards and even notes my parents give me at home.  It's just nice to know exactly what you have.  I do have some VHS's of clips of the Royal Ballet School doing The Nutcracker, also with the Royal Ballet, which is not sold and I think it's definitely a big thing.  I don't know what's up.  I know I started gymnastics at age 1 technically, age 1 3|4.  I liked ballet but didn't do it my whole life, but I've always been doing piano or something.  It's funny I even had time for that.

Anyway ... So, yea ... I shouldn't worry about it, but I do, I mean, I like living online and at the movies, a lot.  I don't have to work so have time to sing.  I guess that works out.  I love singing and will always sing until I'm tired, maybe not technically, though that's what's usually happened, which I assume is what is normal?  I know at the upstanding Jesuit school in New Orleans people didn't practice 1|2 hour a day like they were assigned to, mostly...  The community college claims you need 4 certain kinds of songs prepared to audition, acting like younger people should flock, and that the minimum, not sure if this is even true, is to practice 1 hour a day, which sounds like a good amount - I think that practicing more than once a day works best.  :|  I don't wanna work while I'm in school.  I'd take a loan.  I just feel funny that even at a community college you practice 1 hour every day, no fail.  It's probably because it's intended for the working adult.  What about 45 minutes 5 days a week, or *at least* 20 minutes.  I'm wondering because operas themselves are so long.  It used to seem like a possibility.  I'm not up for work with words.  I guess that's why I did piano.  Imagine people featured in movies don't have to work that much.  Who pays attention to the opera, let alone even all the movies?  What do people do for fun in life?  People have it hard.  I think I could do voice at a college...  I did find I practiced maybe 3 hours a day and wanted to do more.  I had 3 instruments, though.  Maybe it was 1 hour, but I've practiced more than that.  It's different when you're on a campus with no family and like no friends in a way.

Oh, thinking about the thing about visiting where we used to live in the nation's oldest continuing city, my dad wanted to stay at a hotel and eat at a nice restaurant next time.  I assume we can go later.

So, I think that 1 hour of practicing every day is too much for a community college.  I am offended they think it's a place for kids.  People who go there have kids.  I don't know what they mean, but it'd be nice if they do have a book of warm-ups.  I did choir so thought I knew how to warm up.  I started warming up again.  I did when I woke up but I guess stopped to post this.  1 hour seems right for a community college.  For a conservatory, I'm guessing they practice 2 1|2 hours a day plus go to 2 or 3 ensembles, other homework blah.

I guess I'm most upset I don't have the sweet innocent voice I once had as a teenager.  I can kinda sing like I did in choir when I was a kid.  It was a big time for me.  Essentially, I'm still the same.  I used to sing while I played mostly.  I didn't even own The Phantom of the Opera, though.  The instrumental part to Cats was interesting.  That seems neat because at least the white cat also dances, though the white can doesn't sing alone.  I wish I did voice.  A lot of kids started in high school.  I did an organ camp at Oberlin in northern Ohio, and they probably did piano or started with organ at 16 or 15 or maybe earlier.  It was probably 15 or 16.  I know I started playing around at 15, well, no, I just played it like a piano for church services and wasn't allowed to prepare, didn't even know the songs in advance.  The people in charge of music and clerical work were fired along with that priest.  The priest before was there for 30 years, and there were older people in the choir who were there 30 years.

I'm thinking the way I post online is juvenile and that I'll get over it.  I dunno.  I think the main thing in life is Hollywood.  I realize there are some people that shine as one.  I think it's funny you'll have like 3 or 4 theaters of the same movie, though.  It must be expensive.  I was thinking and even figured hey how everyone could be a movie star.

One big thing about me is that I well when I read about people from a long time ago, well, through the Little House Books and American Girl, that I wanted to be old-fashioned and wear dresses and boots.  I stayed that way forever, though I was also into modern life.  Who isn't?  I was adamant about everything and for some reason stood out.  I think gymnastics as a kid made me smart for life, though I wasn't on a team.  I was ahead.  I started at age 1 3|4.

So, the way I post online is kinda filler for my life.  It is a main feature to me.  So ...

... What was I gonna say?  Um ... I think that I am still for some reason developing into a woman and hope I do.  The talking online is good for my communication skills.  I used to not.  I get grumpy when I don't get to.

So, like, I like getting accounts for big movies or using one main one.  It's fun to up your reputation, as a person.  I don't like how people judge me for mistakes from the past that have some sort of an explanation.