Thursday, July 12, 2012
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
How Vocal Instruction Helps
I'm guessing most people who were in choir showcased their talent at home. I'm a little different. I was inhibited to do that. So, I sang softly. At one point, I sang loudly, but I think I was still inhibited to do it with my family.
What's best is to learn opera. It's not about robust ladies in fancy wigs. It's just an expressive, lyrical form of musical theater or without the dancing involved. You think it has to be tacky and corny, but it's not, and it's not as high as often as you think. It's just not. It's even that way for higher sopranos. It's more medium and it's more fun when it's a little high. It does't go as low as other songs and as high for the same voice, true, which I could do and would have fun doing, doubtless that others could, especially maybe in musical theater, judging from what I know in my experience. I'm not sure if classical high voices usually can sing very very low, like a bass, but I can, maybe some.. I just recently discovered that. I did take off school to get better. I started posting online, hoping nothing bad would happen. I think it's important to be careful in how you reveal yourself, which can cause for some obstacles. If you just let it all out, people will know too much of you. You can go back and stop being that way, though.
So, to think of singing in opera is like a treat because it's like a play except singing, not just a song for an art. It should be very expressive, as well as resounding. Obviously, it can be, if you've heard people in theater act ... You know people can be very expressive when combining talents.
I think taking voice is the best route. I know Renée Fleming is very expressive, in a way I've connected with. Other singers seem more crude. I also know Órla Fallon, who is a bit younger, an Irish singer. These 2 singers both have been singing the way they do since they could remember or before. Their singing is hardly crude. I honestly remember a lot of times I didn't sing, whereas it was a time when I should had been. I spent the early part of my life in gymnastics and art. I think my family were sensitive to singing, like it was embarrassing. I heard music at school in kindergarten, and that's when I got into it and tried to do it myself what I could remember.. So, since then, I've been big in music.
I find that, like other people who just did choir and whatever else singing on their own etc., it's not really something to be proud of.. People who take voice have a certain consciousness. I'm just wondering if I should sing myself more or get into voice lessons. I have some things I want to do 1st, like clean my room. I do want to start ballet now, though, so we'll see. That will be good exercise. I'm wondering if running and ballet go. I won't be doing a real ballet program but rather an easy one for adults. It's better to jut have ballet muscles. I might stop running, but I dunno I'm thinking not. I want to be a film actress, and I need to be on top of things. I'm doing ballet, too, because it's something I like. I know a lot of ballerinas can't be film actresses nor singers. I guess, if you actually took voice and sought out to be a film actress, that it would be possible.
So, I vie for vocal instruction and ballet class. It's not the be all and end all of everything. It's just something to consider. I suppose it'd be a shock to start ballet and then to stop, like it was for me. It's exercise, though, and should be good for you. Julie Andrews looks good, and she was a singer. Somehow, she got a very nice, lyrical voice. Renée Fleming doesn't sound like Julie Andrews but probably is just as good. It's just that my dad told me she was the #2 singer in the world and I liked her, her singing and personality. She sings in operas, and, also, there's just songs as art.
Kids tend not to know what to sing, and that's why vocal instruction is important. I did gain a more pure voice from hiding myself in choir and behind my piano playing, but I did lose it in college trying to be like everyone else. The least I could have done was save some recordings. I think, in voice lessons, they do command vibrato, the vibrating you hear in opera singers. Like, in folk songs, I guess things wouldn't be this way. I was able to produce a sound, in singing, that was good without vibrating, but taking voice lessons is probably the best thing. I learned to do vibrato finally, pretty consistently, from college choir. You like take a deep breath and push against your stomach until an even vibrating is produced. Most people can probably figure that out if they try, but I didn't for awhile and probably would have liked to have done it. I didn't sound like I was straining when I sang without vibrato, though, having done a few solos in choir, which embarrassed me in front of my family. I was always thought to be pretty good, spot-on. I guess you don't have to start at birth to be good. I started in choir when I was 8. Everyone, including me, sang loudly. The leader said I was getting to be one of his loudest singers. I was soft in choir after moving, twice, until I took voice in college. I don't know. I don't remember what the change was like, unfortunately. It shouldn't be that important. I wish there were other things I would be allowed to forget. People don't seem to mind if I forget anything.
I think more practice is important and that it should be possible to sing with a pure sound even if you study opera.
What's best is to learn opera. It's not about robust ladies in fancy wigs. It's just an expressive, lyrical form of musical theater or without the dancing involved. You think it has to be tacky and corny, but it's not, and it's not as high as often as you think. It's just not. It's even that way for higher sopranos. It's more medium and it's more fun when it's a little high. It does't go as low as other songs and as high for the same voice, true, which I could do and would have fun doing, doubtless that others could, especially maybe in musical theater, judging from what I know in my experience. I'm not sure if classical high voices usually can sing very very low, like a bass, but I can, maybe some.. I just recently discovered that. I did take off school to get better. I started posting online, hoping nothing bad would happen. I think it's important to be careful in how you reveal yourself, which can cause for some obstacles. If you just let it all out, people will know too much of you. You can go back and stop being that way, though.
So, to think of singing in opera is like a treat because it's like a play except singing, not just a song for an art. It should be very expressive, as well as resounding. Obviously, it can be, if you've heard people in theater act ... You know people can be very expressive when combining talents.
I think taking voice is the best route. I know Renée Fleming is very expressive, in a way I've connected with. Other singers seem more crude. I also know Órla Fallon, who is a bit younger, an Irish singer. These 2 singers both have been singing the way they do since they could remember or before. Their singing is hardly crude. I honestly remember a lot of times I didn't sing, whereas it was a time when I should had been. I spent the early part of my life in gymnastics and art. I think my family were sensitive to singing, like it was embarrassing. I heard music at school in kindergarten, and that's when I got into it and tried to do it myself what I could remember.. So, since then, I've been big in music.
I find that, like other people who just did choir and whatever else singing on their own etc., it's not really something to be proud of.. People who take voice have a certain consciousness. I'm just wondering if I should sing myself more or get into voice lessons. I have some things I want to do 1st, like clean my room. I do want to start ballet now, though, so we'll see. That will be good exercise. I'm wondering if running and ballet go. I won't be doing a real ballet program but rather an easy one for adults. It's better to jut have ballet muscles. I might stop running, but I dunno I'm thinking not. I want to be a film actress, and I need to be on top of things. I'm doing ballet, too, because it's something I like. I know a lot of ballerinas can't be film actresses nor singers. I guess, if you actually took voice and sought out to be a film actress, that it would be possible.
So, I vie for vocal instruction and ballet class. It's not the be all and end all of everything. It's just something to consider. I suppose it'd be a shock to start ballet and then to stop, like it was for me. It's exercise, though, and should be good for you. Julie Andrews looks good, and she was a singer. Somehow, she got a very nice, lyrical voice. Renée Fleming doesn't sound like Julie Andrews but probably is just as good. It's just that my dad told me she was the #2 singer in the world and I liked her, her singing and personality. She sings in operas, and, also, there's just songs as art.
Kids tend not to know what to sing, and that's why vocal instruction is important. I did gain a more pure voice from hiding myself in choir and behind my piano playing, but I did lose it in college trying to be like everyone else. The least I could have done was save some recordings. I think, in voice lessons, they do command vibrato, the vibrating you hear in opera singers. Like, in folk songs, I guess things wouldn't be this way. I was able to produce a sound, in singing, that was good without vibrating, but taking voice lessons is probably the best thing. I learned to do vibrato finally, pretty consistently, from college choir. You like take a deep breath and push against your stomach until an even vibrating is produced. Most people can probably figure that out if they try, but I didn't for awhile and probably would have liked to have done it. I didn't sound like I was straining when I sang without vibrato, though, having done a few solos in choir, which embarrassed me in front of my family. I was always thought to be pretty good, spot-on. I guess you don't have to start at birth to be good. I started in choir when I was 8. Everyone, including me, sang loudly. The leader said I was getting to be one of his loudest singers. I was soft in choir after moving, twice, until I took voice in college. I don't know. I don't remember what the change was like, unfortunately. It shouldn't be that important. I wish there were other things I would be allowed to forget. People don't seem to mind if I forget anything.
I think more practice is important and that it should be possible to sing with a pure sound even if you study opera.
What Happened
I came home and posted online about Tim Burton and Johnny Depp. A misunderstanding occurred online, and it has obsessed me for the past 2 1|2 years. I had been home prior to that for 3 1|2 years, hoping I was on the brink to recovery. So, at 23, something struck me and in some ways I wasn't getting better, as before, when I was 20|21.
College
I wonder if I'm too old to go back. College keeps me busy and could get me in shape. I feel like I'm lounging around at home.
What I Should Have Done in High School and College
starting at age 16
1. English IV - Advanced Placement|Gifted
2. American History - Honors
3. French I
4. Health | Free Enterprise
5. Talented Music - Singing
6. Talented Theater
7. Art III
1. French II
2. Talented Music - Singing
3. Talented Theater
4. Art IV
5. Talented Art
6. Choir
College
at some point:
History of Dance - 3
Ballet - Independent Study - 1
Year 1
1. English 1 - Honors - 3
2. History - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Freshman Voice Lab - 0
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 1 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 16
1. English 2 - Honors
2. Math - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Italian Diction & Repertoire - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 2 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
9. Intro. to Music History - 2
Total - 19
Year 2
1. Religion 1 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 1 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. French Diction & Repertoire 1 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 3 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 17
1. Religion 2 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 2 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. French Diction & Repertoire 2 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 4 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 17
Year 3
1. Religion 3 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 3 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. German Diction & Repertoire 1 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 3
7. Music History 1 - 3
8. Opera Workshop - 1
9. Ballet - 3
Total - 18
1. Science - Honors - 3
2. Humanities|Arts - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. German Diction & Repertoire 2 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 3
7. Music History 2 - 3
8. Opera Workshop - 1
9. Junior Recital - 0
10. Ballet - 3
Total - 18
Year 4
1. Behavioral|Social Sciences - Honors - 3
2. Essentials of Conducting - 2
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Major Ensemble - 1
5. Voice Lessons - 3
6. Opera Workshop - 1
7. Opera Literature - 2
8. Music Theory - 2
9. French 1 - 3
10. Ballet - 3
Total - 20
1. Essentials of Conducting - 2
2. Recital Hour - 0
3. Major Ensemble - 1
4. Voice Lessons - 3
5. Opera Workshop - 1
6. Opera Literature - 2
7. Music Theory - 2
8. French 2 - 3
9. Ballet - 3
Total - 20
End - Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance and Minor in Ballet
1. English IV - Advanced Placement|Gifted
2. American History - Honors
3. French I
4. Health | Free Enterprise
5. Talented Music - Singing
6. Talented Theater
7. Art III
1. French II
2. Talented Music - Singing
3. Talented Theater
4. Art IV
5. Talented Art
6. Choir
College
at some point:
History of Dance - 3
Ballet - Independent Study - 1
Year 1
1. English 1 - Honors - 3
2. History - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Freshman Voice Lab - 0
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 1 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 16
1. English 2 - Honors
2. Math - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Italian Diction & Repertoire - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 2 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
9. Intro. to Music History - 2
Total - 19
Year 2
1. Religion 1 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 1 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. French Diction & Repertoire 1 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 3 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 17
1. Religion 2 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 2 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. French Diction & Repertoire 2 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 2
7. Theory 4 - 4
8. Ballet - 3
Total - 17
Year 3
1. Religion 3 - Honors - 3
2. Philosophy 3 - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. German Diction & Repertoire 1 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 3
7. Music History 1 - 3
8. Opera Workshop - 1
9. Ballet - 3
Total - 18
1. Science - Honors - 3
2. Humanities|Arts - Honors - 3
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. German Diction & Repertoire 2 - 1
5. Major Ensemble - 1
6. Voice Lessons - 3
7. Music History 2 - 3
8. Opera Workshop - 1
9. Junior Recital - 0
10. Ballet - 3
Total - 18
Year 4
1. Behavioral|Social Sciences - Honors - 3
2. Essentials of Conducting - 2
3. Recital Hour - 0
4. Major Ensemble - 1
5. Voice Lessons - 3
6. Opera Workshop - 1
7. Opera Literature - 2
8. Music Theory - 2
9. French 1 - 3
10. Ballet - 3
Total - 20
1. Essentials of Conducting - 2
2. Recital Hour - 0
3. Major Ensemble - 1
4. Voice Lessons - 3
5. Opera Workshop - 1
6. Opera Literature - 2
7. Music Theory - 2
8. French 2 - 3
9. Ballet - 3
Total - 20
End - Bachelor of Music in Vocal Performance and Minor in Ballet
Monday, July 9, 2012
Renée Fleming
I'm posting videos of Renée Fleming on one of my websites: http://website-of-people.yolasite.com/ren%C3%A9e-fleming.php
I couldn't use my YouTube because it shows newest videos last and eventually you wouldn't be able to see new videos, at least not very quickly.
I couldn't use my YouTube because it shows newest videos last and eventually you wouldn't be able to see new videos, at least not very quickly.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Another Rough Day - Aw, Fooey
I think the niggering has died down. I ended up thinking of the word for everyone. So, a way to stop that for me worked and would for others, though I shan't recommend it, is to think of like myself as one..
Friday, July 6, 2012
The towels
are wet in the dryer, and my mom's clothes are on top. I was gonna do the towels. We have to do them every other day, it seems.
I'm guessing supper was taken out.
I'm apprehensive to go out into the kitchen in order to set the table, now, just not the right mood, but I need to eat and wash the dishes.
Ever since I thought someone wanted me to call them the "n" word
like I'm out doing chores instead of resting in my room alone.
I feel more tired now.
:(
How evil. I bet it was something lame like how|the way my mother closed the car doors.
How evil. I bet it was something lame like how|the way my mother closed the car doors.
Wasting My Time Talking About This Boy
The one who made me think of his thumb and my nose together while I was drinking from the water fountain at the gym and in conjunction with the thought of having a grandkid. I don't like when boys think they have a handle on you, like hypnosis. I could have slapped him, but I didn't even think of it. I can't do that or I'd get in trouble. This boy was not being cool.
Now, I'm apprehensive to enter the kitchen.
I wanna help with supper and eventually will come out and at least set the table. I wonder if supper is even ready, probably not. I dunno, I heard the car door slam several times in succession.
I don't know why people are so mean to me.
They assure me in my good behavior regularly that, yes, I'm a good person, but started to act like there was something wrong with me, I swear, every time Johnny comes out with something big. I seen it happen.
My brother hasn't been seeming very nice, lately.
He thinks he's over and above me and in on the thing where someone acted like I should call them the "n" word.
Okay, so I didn't prepare any vegetables.
Since my brother isn't preparing anything, that means my mom is bringing something home. I'm not preparing vegetables, at this point, because my brother is in the area watching TV.
The sound affected
the back of my head, the inside. Wow. What was that? See, that's one reason not to live here, but it's nice.. not the same as up north, in ways. I'm not sure what my decision is. I just don't like getting into conflict. The conflicts here are more pre-meditated.
I have a feeling my mom is bringing home dinner.
I was thinking of doing the vegetables earlier but forgot and was a bit sluggish. I've been dieting lately and am feeling more awake. I'm also trying to pick something to read.
Dilemma
I am wondering if I should advance to chop up some vegetables for supper that I actually got for lunch. My brother is watching TV, and it's a big day tomorrow. My mom usually caters dinner.
Hmm.
Something funny. I wonder what did it. Let's see if I can not do it, anymore. How to fix the past? D:
Some people
lose track of what they claimed was important and instead are lost in some fantasy of thinking they have the authority to "punish" others, when they themselves have done things they would punish. So, they don't know what's going on.
No one was eager to solve the problem
nor to come to terms with the truth in the message.. which would be better off solved privately and left alone!
My friends
act like that, too. Though, everyone acts like they know I'm pretty much a perfect person and that bad things happen to me because of it..
Pretty Much
I'm a good person. I don't get people circling around me like witches, as though I'm a case. I run into awkward situations. It's too bad.
Crossing Boundaries
I guess that's important.
Some people just like to forget their problems, like if they cannot be addressed for some reason, but what's important is that everyone's okay. I would make sacrifices for others.
Some people just like to forget their problems, like if they cannot be addressed for some reason, but what's important is that everyone's okay. I would make sacrifices for others.
Wow
People who don't have kids themselves are overly concerned about certain things. That's too bad. They don't have the means. I don't have the time for a lot of things, I noticed, which isn't good in a way, though I accept it for what it is. I just trust that things will be okay..
Someone startled me..
..the neighbors set off fireworks.
My right side feels kinda dumbed down. It's the side closest to the fireworks. I think of it, and it feels that way.
My right side feels kinda dumbed down. It's the side closest to the fireworks. I think of it, and it feels that way.
My dad looked at me funny
well dropped his keys after handing me my purse and my hand touching the bottom of it and me cleaning my hands with sanitizer and the part of my purse I touched, too. We were bringing in the groceries. He cleaned his hands extra clean at home. It's funny at the gym I cleaned something just in case someone went on it, too, and people seemed to notice my worry. It's just how it was.
Well..
With me you could actually suggest a lot of things that happen.
I have problems, too.
People always act like I don't know things, things that I don't need to be concerned over.
I have problems, too.
People always act like I don't know things, things that I don't need to be concerned over.
So..
I am concerned about how different people can influence my life because they're older or more esteemed.
Some people think some things are okay that they grew up knowing. I'm not sure if it'd be okay for them, but it's not that anything bad should happen to anyone because nothing is anyone's fault.
Some things to me seem like a sideshow. I guess I do things pretty literally.
Some people think some things are okay that they grew up knowing. I'm not sure if it'd be okay for them, but it's not that anything bad should happen to anyone because nothing is anyone's fault.
Some things to me seem like a sideshow. I guess I do things pretty literally.
I found out
Ellen DeGeneres played Dori in Finding Nemo. I thought it was good but felt that it was a bit distant...
I'm also upset
I thought of the "n" word this weekend when we ate out for the 4th of July. I felt bad from something that happened in the restaurant ...
Trying to Impress Me
People just think of "some thing" I don't know and present it to me as though it's something. It's like something bad.
Basically, everyone knows, I didn't do anything wrong actually just so happened to physically. They try to make me feel guilty for simply not being perfect.
I also figured they lost sleep and were agitated.
Basically, everyone knows, I didn't do anything wrong actually just so happened to physically. They try to make me feel guilty for simply not being perfect.
I also figured they lost sleep and were agitated.
A big thing for me was
wanting to live life in reality just to be right. It's as opposed to living purely in a fantasy.
Sometimes, it's funny
and I'm just gaping. If someone "wants to make a nigger out of me" is just something different, now. It seems it's already happened. Thanks to some gentlemen.
It's not really funny if someone doesn't like it. I never go onto someone with something.
I'm worried. I can't just get away with it. I've dealt with what I've dealt with..
It's not really funny if someone doesn't like it. I never go onto someone with something.
I'm worried. I can't just get away with it. I've dealt with what I've dealt with..
I'm trying not to use curse words, though.
I just forget, and it just happens.
I figured I could call my laundry shit.
I figured I could call my laundry shit.
This is serious.
Pretty much, people who are nice to me could get thought of as niggers. That's one thing I just realized. The other is that these "curse words" will come up. People won't take a no for using curse words, but it's like not that they'd do it against someone like me. I'm not radioactive.
Please, don't ask me to
be more respectful to people who have spited me. I already don't actually bite back. It's too bad if you think you can read into me just being too suggestive. My life is already something of a living Hell. Why not just be positive AND leave me alone?
Someone weird today
when I was at the gym made me think of their thumb and my nose when I was thinking about what I wanted one of my grandkids to be like. Hope that bit of rubbish goes.
That Word Coming Up
I just got the strange feeling that someone would think it'd be cool if I switched places like with my brother. D8 I'm such a nigger. Hey, I shouldn't say that. It might catch on.... At least, I got over that suggestion.
Thursday, July 5, 2012
It's hard to figure out some things.
I guess I should have started a blog and perhaps posted about something else. As to when, it shouldn't matter, but it took a lot to learn the ropes online.
Out of respect
it's hard to imagine people being a certain way for me with sacrifice.
I'm not sure what I'd do for things like this.
It's just that I started getting online a bit after Tim and Helena were about to have their daughter, and when she was born I started posting about Johnny Depp.
I'm not sure what I'd do for things like this.
It's just that I started getting online a bit after Tim and Helena were about to have their daughter, and when she was born I started posting about Johnny Depp.
That's a bit suggestive
to say I don't deserve to be online because celebrities are having their life.
To address the issue...
...I didn't even think I should consider the personal lives of stars and just post about their work. I thought that we were always supposed to think about feelings with other people. That's the way I was planning to live my life, at the time, and I think still it would be a proper way for me to exist, just not with certain people.
I should have been online already, end of story! I wasn't ready at the time, but I could have gotten ready sometime before. Besides, I was stuck with nothing to do and no one was even e-mailing me was why.
I should have been online already, end of story! I wasn't ready at the time, but I could have gotten ready sometime before. Besides, I was stuck with nothing to do and no one was even e-mailing me was why.
So, to sum it all up
I have to feel stimulated in sort of a way that's not dignified just because child stars have parents that are touchy-feely because they're rich and famous and artistic, but we don't really have a proper relationship. It's even because of them. They've affected my life in good ways but want me to pay yet don't realize how many people surround them in these issues of their functioning. They're not really that sneaky, neither, though people seem to go about and do something. I'm a bit worried because I guess maybe I cut my bangs for other reasons by now.
My dad saying "month."
He usually waits over a day if something goes wrong to recover...
He seemed more amiable after he said that. I was just thinking something, and they don't communicate with me. They try to stimulate me. I'm sad we don't have a relationship.
He seemed more amiable after he said that. I was just thinking something, and they don't communicate with me. They try to stimulate me. I'm sad we don't have a relationship.
People are mean to me if I'm not perfect.
It's really not my fault, see.
My dad said "month" while thinking maybe I'm evil.
I just want the "n" word stuff to be over. I don't want people thinking I can't have grandkids because of when I thought about it, too. I'm not dealing with this nonsense. I'm not impressed.
My dad said "month" while thinking maybe I'm evil.
I just want the "n" word stuff to be over. I don't want people thinking I can't have grandkids because of when I thought about it, too. I'm not dealing with this nonsense. I'm not impressed.
Well, I know that you can tell that
I have a problem.
It seems that people want to use the curse words in thinking because after all they are just words, just have to be used in the right situations.
Something happened when I thought "not a nigger." It was a big deal. I couldn't at the time stop it from coming. So, later, the reason I thought it came up, it just hurt me a lot. Some things happen. It's like when I think someone is gay to me, though. :p At the store, I thought of the word, and the cashier just smiled, a teen or young adult boy, and we exchanged looks that we were Celtic. It was funny and made sense at the time, actually...
It seems that people want to use the curse words in thinking because after all they are just words, just have to be used in the right situations.
Something happened when I thought "not a nigger." It was a big deal. I couldn't at the time stop it from coming. So, later, the reason I thought it came up, it just hurt me a lot. Some things happen. It's like when I think someone is gay to me, though. :p At the store, I thought of the word, and the cashier just smiled, a teen or young adult boy, and we exchanged looks that we were Celtic. It was funny and made sense at the time, actually...
I've been "in the business" for awhile.
I've been sharing my talents in the arts, and I don't believe that famous people are somehow more important just because they are than others.
So, I finally got my laundry washing and ironing done.
I just have a new batch to iron when it dries tomorrow, unless I'm extra-tired, which I probably won't be, though I'm trying to get to bed earlier and have enough clothes for now...
Child Celebs
They want them to feel comfortable that their parents are such touchy feely famous icons. So, my parents act like instead of me in more esteem and emotional distance of respect and intelligence, it's something like what I don't want what it was like for these particular child celebs. Except, now my hair isn't really as light, though it looks better altogether. Another issue. I think that Helena Bonham Carter is mad I cut my bangs. I think she influenced me. She shaped her daughter's hair pin kinda like the word "n" ... I'm not pinning my bangs back!
Ever since
I thought Helena Bonham Carter sent me a message, like using body language in pictures having read me up online as I know many have, to call her daughter the "n" word and already clearly symbolically did that to me. The daughter even was in on it. I know my parents were strict with me in my early years before gaining full consciousness or whatever.
So, people acted like I wanted to do that and I guess not that I went crazy innocently or some other excuse...
So, ever since that, people have been doing things to me. It wasn't like this before. I suppose it was to be done, anyway, but it's just because of trying to make life make sense for child celebs.
So, people acted like I wanted to do that and I guess not that I went crazy innocently or some other excuse...
So, ever since that, people have been doing things to me. It wasn't like this before. I suppose it was to be done, anyway, but it's just because of trying to make life make sense for child celebs.
Tim Burton and Johnny Depp, expected-ly, ruined my life.
My parents didn't treat me with feelings in the same way as before, and it's a bit humiliating the way they've reduced the esteem of our relationship.
My mom just hit the pan really loudly.
My parents are always acting as though they thought I did something wrongly.
I was telling her about my dieting from rice but eating Triscuits. I've also been having yogurt and started eating fruit, too, to attend to my hunger.
Then, I told her I found a picture that looked like the daughter of Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter who was from Spain and was Spanish probably. Helena Bonham Carter is a little Spanish and a lot Jewish on her mom's side I think. It's Jewish-European, I think, and her dad is of high class and all English. Helena is definitely very funky or whatever you should call it.
Here's the picture:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/80485PCN_Spain28.jpg
Here's the Photobucket of the daughter. Go to the bottom on the folders on the side to see the most recent pictures because they don't show up at the top, now, or click for the pop-up of viewing all albums:
http://photobucket.com/NellBurton
Here's another photo of a Spanish girl:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/2012-06-16-1.png
Also, here are 2 pictures of Johnny Depp and his girlfriend Vanessa Paradis:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/tumblr_m6dwhfaxaJ1qfgcb9o1_1280.jpg
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/tumblr_m6dwhfaxaJ1qfgcb9o2_1280.jpg
They sure look good. I noticed Vanessa looks very good, me not being from Europe.
I was telling her about my dieting from rice but eating Triscuits. I've also been having yogurt and started eating fruit, too, to attend to my hunger.
Then, I told her I found a picture that looked like the daughter of Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter who was from Spain and was Spanish probably. Helena Bonham Carter is a little Spanish and a lot Jewish on her mom's side I think. It's Jewish-European, I think, and her dad is of high class and all English. Helena is definitely very funky or whatever you should call it.
Here's the picture:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/80485PCN_Spain28.jpg
Here's the Photobucket of the daughter. Go to the bottom on the folders on the side to see the most recent pictures because they don't show up at the top, now, or click for the pop-up of viewing all albums:
http://photobucket.com/NellBurton
Here's another photo of a Spanish girl:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/2012-06-16-1.png
Also, here are 2 pictures of Johnny Depp and his girlfriend Vanessa Paradis:
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/tumblr_m6dwhfaxaJ1qfgcb9o1_1280.jpg
http://i1053.photobucket.com/albums/s463/CB-Photobucket/tumblr_m6dwhfaxaJ1qfgcb9o2_1280.jpg
They sure look good. I noticed Vanessa looks very good, me not being from Europe.
I guess I got about 11 hours of sleep.
I did take my small dosage of medicine last night and don't feel tired, now.
Acting Pompous as Though It Means Something
People are set on one thing for some unknown reason. For some reason, they think it means something, when they are wrong in more ways than one. That usually matters...
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
When you realize there shouldn't be a man standing
you know something's gotta be up.
I mean, actors think regular people shouldn't exist.
I mean, actors think regular people shouldn't exist.
At the end, at the theater
I was wondering if I should get up again, but I stayed put and the show ended.
A New Point?
So, the more people are at me in public and in private, the more I will hate the people who caused me this misery, but I try not to let it get to me in the end.
Why don't they realize even this is dangerous from them? Lots of people would actually see things like this coming, but not them certainly seeing as it's happened..
Why don't they realize even this is dangerous from them? Lots of people would actually see things like this coming, but not them certainly seeing as it's happened..
It's funny when you realize
that it's serious, the whole set-up, of getting me to call someone a "nigger" thinking they wanted me to, you know like an ice breaker or to start something instead of them calling me one literally. I know some people are more into that I was symbolically called the "n" word, first, before thinking they were playing. I should have left it at that. They didn't get in trouble, though.
I just got back from seeing "Spider-Man."
I had to move seats over 10 times. My dad and I were front center, and a guy came and sat one seat away from me and kept like sending me Morse code. I don't know how I accepted my fate and moved on.
So, I read the story, as I do now, before seeing the movie but couldn't get into the details like I wanted so I could post more online about it. :( No, I don't think I need to try again. This is one of the only movies I saw in IMAX, too.
So, the guy who sat next to me was overweight and short. At first, I thought it was an old lady, then an old man judging from the laugh, which seemed obvious and nasally in a certain way like honking maybe, and then after moving saw it was a young adult with a crew cut.
There seems to be some unrest that I didn't move from my last seat because I was doing some people favors who didn't get along and moving.
I was kinda upset I wanted to eat at the mall, but my dad said we'd been spending too much money. It was closed, anyway. He's gonna come post on IMDb probably tonight about movies we've seen, including this one. We were gonna bring my brother, but he was asleep anyway.
So, I read the story, as I do now, before seeing the movie but couldn't get into the details like I wanted so I could post more online about it. :( No, I don't think I need to try again. This is one of the only movies I saw in IMAX, too.
So, the guy who sat next to me was overweight and short. At first, I thought it was an old lady, then an old man judging from the laugh, which seemed obvious and nasally in a certain way like honking maybe, and then after moving saw it was a young adult with a crew cut.
There seems to be some unrest that I didn't move from my last seat because I was doing some people favors who didn't get along and moving.
I was kinda upset I wanted to eat at the mall, but my dad said we'd been spending too much money. It was closed, anyway. He's gonna come post on IMDb probably tonight about movies we've seen, including this one. We were gonna bring my brother, but he was asleep anyway.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Advice for Young Singers ... From Me
I was just jogging and wondering about ballet versus voice. I found you have to know piano to do voice eventually because it's gonna be songs you don't know... Like, you have to play out the melody or something. I was thinking about a YouTube I was watching of someone who does both piano and voice. I think I would not keep up piano because even if you did want to be a piano star, too, it's more about talent than like you think in ballet did you do it all the time from age such and such to age such and such. If you wear yourself out as a person, you won't be happy. People start things late and get good at them. I'm not sure what the records are, though, on this matter.
Why are Americans in European relations so into
doing "things literally?" I know in America we tend to skirt by what seems to exist, like certain feelings and things we do emotionally. It sure was like that in school. We didn't really do much in way of like history, religion to my dismay in college, English V, ... I don't know why.
People really do what you expect.
Why do I feel less German? Is it because I've been into this English stuff?
It seems like people really do treat you a certain way if for them something isn't as much as yours in a way that is liked.
I just feel a bit funny. I know I got into Johnny Depp. He is part German but lives in Paris.
People have been funny, some, around me, who have things going for them, like I shouldn't reap the benefits of my life, but I don't agree with that anymore.
It seems like people really do treat you a certain way if for them something isn't as much as yours in a way that is liked.
I just feel a bit funny. I know I got into Johnny Depp. He is part German but lives in Paris.
People have been funny, some, around me, who have things going for them, like I shouldn't reap the benefits of my life, but I don't agree with that anymore.
Huh..
My room is pretty neat. Everything doesn't match. I probably shouldn't paint the garage, which is my room.. I have some things to put away. I kinda want more space. I'm thinking of storing some things away in boxes. I need more room for clothes. What kind of people have all this in order?..
Why did before
reading messages online seem to take like negative time and you want more and now it is laborious?
Think of all we've lost.
So, I've been singing some hits I am anticipating to see turn into remakes, while I was showering.
Imagine if more talented people became more well-known in the 90s and 80s and such. Today, things just seem different, like everyone's been knocked out. It's too bad...I'm not sure if we have a lot of videos from the hurricane of us. Imagine what could have happened if we used our talents in the world, more. Should we give everything up and just try to get by day to day where we are stationed?
...
Imagine if more talented people became more well-known in the 90s and 80s and such. Today, things just seem different, like everyone's been knocked out. It's too bad...I'm not sure if we have a lot of videos from the hurricane of us. Imagine what could have happened if we used our talents in the world, more. Should we give everything up and just try to get by day to day where we are stationed?
...
Ahhh
I love having an online writing record.
So, yea, my hair is dried and I'm all ready with my makeup. I didn't grow up wearing makeup, like in high school and college. I started after I took a break from college, and I never went back! My mom said to do theater. I almost was gonna do singing a year ago.
So, yea, my hair is dried and I'm all ready with my makeup. I didn't grow up wearing makeup, like in high school and college. I started after I took a break from college, and I never went back! My mom said to do theater. I almost was gonna do singing a year ago.
People who think they're more compatible with hard-to-talk-to people.
People think that there are some people who have it great, not mixed race, at least not as much as others. They think that they're suggestive to those who are mixed race or who don't seem as you'd expect people to be. By the way, I know some people are mean, and I have no idea why what I said would be taken as mean. You don't seem to even know what I was talking about. So, people think, if they just are in the moment and focus on certain basic things, like holding onto reactions and maybe dabbling in reacting to physical features, that that's like "what" life is and that they think they have to be seen as perfect and different from most others, though there are a lot of people who are being like that more and more each day. I've seen that people can get violently mad. It's affected the whole of my life, intentional or not. I can't stand when people say they're all that and then get mad when you talk about them, as though you're suggesting something and they deserve to enjoy their life more than you do because it's already their "thing." Most people who are more fun have this problem. They can really pore into you, regardless of if they have|need to or not. I guess pretty much everyone is like this nowadays. I'm not like that, though. I don't have to be. I don't think everyone in the world is like this. It's not where I live, neither, just the people I've interacted with. I'm not a failure, racially. Those things are not supposed to be suggested. It's offensive. I don't want to look Asian nor Native American. My dad's mom's probably Jewish from both of her parents.
... I remember when ... I remember I remember
I used to think I could even be a stage actor and memorize all that stuff, but that's since left me, as well. I should probably look more into acting. I think I've lost my voice. I can't see myself being in an opera. I think, at one point I would have been good, but they told me I couldn't take voice at my old college and I got into Johnny Depp and felt guilty about having many talents.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
It's not safe!
I just accidentally ended up calling someone the "n" word who and whose parents seemed to want me to do it, and I think they did for whatever reason. It's hard for me not to feel guilty around other people who can tell I'm guilty, from what people around me have treated me like, because the girl was only just turning 2 years old I think in a matter of days. So, the girl wasn't African-American and was white. I just can't get out of the guilt because of how young she was, but the situation says that's just how it is.
I'm pretty sure it's at least partly the fault of the parents and an excuse to get rid of me. I was doing well before, but after that I seemed to look worse.
I'm pretty sure it's at least partly the fault of the parents and an excuse to get rid of me. I was doing well before, but after that I seemed to look worse.
You're not supposed to
be able to take into account that I have Chinese-Indonesian genes. I also have Native American from northeastern America or Canada an probably Jewish.
Ooh, now I remember!
People seemed to think though not a voice major ... I was happier to sing than anyone else. Haha! That's because I've been doing it for most of my life already.
Boondocks Versus "Progress"
Do some people think because of where they're from somewhere else should not advance as much as it should? I thought that was embarrassing and could get you in trouble. Everyone only has one life and so much to hope for in it, in a way...
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