People keep thinking it's okay to say things that stimulate me for some reason

... It just happens, but I don't go coocoo|wacko.

So, I've been having more quality time with my family and was just writing to my grandma finally about why I decided not to talk on the phone for awhile.  I think my mom may be suggesting I'm not worth it and should just vacate.  I think she keeps wishing I wasn't alive, like that's okay and I can't even react.

It's like I said, I'm not putting up with the "n" word mess that has been dumped on me.  That means I didn't actually want to do it and was in a way told to, not just some fortune telling.