Do you realize...

...I've been pushed with my dignity like an experiment to call someone the "n" word online and in return people are sarcastic and no one is on my side.  Haha!  It's as though I just said that, and even if I did then so what?  It doesn't seem like I would do it otherwise because there has to be a reason.  It's getting better, but I notice certain things, you know?