Christina Barrett

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

How to Become a Talk Show Host

"Start purging the seven "forbidden words" from your vocabulary."

I may be too old for that. I may, also, be too old to study film in college. They told me I had to have an AA in General Studies if I want to do film and am not a 1st year student.

Working Out

I'm jogging for 1 1|2 hours now. I was laden with weight! :D

Now, I can't wait for breakfast. 8|

New Video and Photos of Me

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The Chinese

I wonder if they're ways of being a certain stereotype in a Caucasian way are genuine. I'm 1|2 Chinese, and the way I am being more basic, like not any certain extreme, causes me to wonder...

I wonder if I should even eat supper.

I can cook my own later.

Did you ever wonder about

people who don't have a professional attitude? I meant ever.

I feel that "second chance" coming on.

I just don't eat junk food|sweets and I will get skinnier! No need to hover around the table.

Waah Waah Boo Hoo

It looks like I gotta get off the sweets. I even wondered about fasting.

I don't think I will fast. I dunno. I mean I do jog and so need to eat to build muscle. Ahahaha! If I didn't I guess I'd just get tired. I used to be pretty skinny, though. It's interesting my head wasn't shrunken in, though, like my cheeks were still a little fat and I didn't look bony, at all. I guess now I'm average.

Maybe, I will try to eat less, though. I mean instead of eating so much. More small meals. So, if I get hungry I can cook up something healthy to satisfy my hunger.

Good thing

I told my dad I didn't want my mom to get me a Nook for my birthday because now they've come out with one that glows.

It looks like the sweets got out of hand.

I was having birthday cake and I guess I went overboard beyond the regular restrictions I would have had had I started dieting some other time.

Dignity

I used to get a lot of respect, but I feel things took a turn for the worse when we knew we were gonna move to the New Orleans area, or some time around that.

After I thought my life was an experiment, which took up my attention, and was kicked out of my major, I started having problems in college but thought each semester could be better, though that never happened for 7 semesters or something if you maximize how you count semesters.

I guess people just can't get over the fact they knew and acted further like my life was an experiment.

Then, the "n" word thing happened, which is trying to be scaled as worse.

So, anyway, I may have never done anything wrong out of my own will nor on purpose, but people are starting to turn me inside out, suggesting things in their actions that were simply human before.

So, apparently...

...I started jogging and that made me thinner. I'm doing sit-ups, side sit-ups, and push-ups, too, hadn't done them in a little while and started back up last night. Now, though, I'm not quite as thin, I assume from too much dessert for awhile. I'm thinking it was a temporary craving. I wonder if I have to have a certain goal in order to follow through with something. I wonder if I should be taking smaller portions of food, as well. I think there's just a certain amount you need and that you don't need to go overboard. You don't have to be too picky, as long as you're pretty much eating normal food and not junk food.

I guess people don't realize

they have a way of getting back at other people for things they didn't know they did. Something of that nature.

I had a craving for sweets.

I'm wondering if it's too much. I don't know how often you're supposed to treat yourself.

Also, my dad I think doesn't want to go grocery shopping until Saturday, and the only meat I have is chicken. I ended up having 2 hot dogs in the A.M. hours. We had went grocery shopping I think on Monday. I just didn't think that I needed a variety in meat, for some reason.

You know, things like this happen and it's as though I did something wrong. I don't like being closely monitored and mistakenly judged for realizing a fact or having a certain attitude.

New Photos and Video of Me

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been eating and drinking

all night

I saw the 1st maybe 10 minutes of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," but my parents will wake up in awhile.

I might play around on IMDb. Make some serious posts have some fun.

New Photo of Me

in the album of my best photos

http://i1124.photobucket.com/albums/l568/ChristinaBarrett/Me%20-%20Current%20Pictures/2012-06-07-3.png

I deleted some weird photos.

http://s1124.photobucket.com/albums/l568/ChristinaBarrett/Me%20-%20Current%20Pictures/Me%201/

I went back and deleted accidental photos.

from my old account

I deleted a somewhat nude photo of myself.

from my old Photobucket

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Did you ever think of how long something could be not right?

Just for the fun of it?

''The Three Stooges,'' too?

It seems like these things have only been out less than 2 months.

''Mirror Mirror''

I can't believe it already hit the cheap theaters. Wow, time flies, sometimes.

I waant this next month!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/p/nook-simple-touch-with-glowlight-barnes-noble/1108046469?ean=9781400501717

It showed on Y! Mail.

https://login.yahoo.com/config/login_verify2?.intl=us&.src=ym

Let's see.

What mis-adventures could happen today, per se?

A jolly jog?

I've been waking up

every hour on the hour trying to get that profile!!!

You know, I could actually connect

to Orlando thinking I lived in a place in like mid-Southeastern Florida.

Hm.

I'm pretty dorky. Thanks Florida.

Maybe, if I go jog

it'd have to come back to me. I might play on the internet 1st. Time for more supper.

I lost some sense

of connecting to an idea of having kids with grandkids.

It feels like it evaporated or something. I was being pretty good, but I think people are digging into my past that has been settled already. If you can't settle something but say you have you can't go back on someone and bring up something like that. I mean you could, but it'd not be the right thing to do.

What did I do?

I feel I was ambushed today. People get so mad at just me if I sound a little peeved.

I edited a post.

When will I have a good day, again?

I was supposed to go to a visiting group, but I was just getting new profiles and have to eat supper. I didn't take a shower because I was waking up each hour trying to get a profile I lost count of for some reason. Ah! I haven't been doing ballet, neither, which costs money. I have to be careful. I think the group meets an hour a week.

I guess

So, I got some new profiles and am about to go have supper.

I was just saying what happened. It may not be perfect.

Indulging in Sin

It seems my mom rats all the ill feelings she has taken advantage with over my by her own chance to my brother and has been since we moved from Florida when he was only 7 and I was still 12.

Game

People are getting carried away these days pretending they were coy in like with non-Caucasians or in general I guess that they will act like, at least for now it working, they don't need to do anything fun. Well, I just noticed, and it's a worthy topic. I decided to pinpoint it.

Rainging and IMDb

I might stay in my room since it's raining and I'm getting a new profile. :)

How fun is this televised?

People think they are over and above you, but in reality that's not quite how it is.

It seems everyone is mistaken

that they're always right just because someone else did something wrong.

I'm tired of

being looked at as a lunatic.

I'm tired of getting messages of being punished just because someone made me think they wanted me to call them the "n" word. Even if they didn't do it on purpose, which I'm sure this was all on purpose. I don't know that they knew what I'd do, but they seemed to try to knock me out that it's so important to see what would happen about this person I called the "n" word online that they would sacrifice my dignity and then claim it never happened like that. I know I thought about this earlier, but I didn't because I knew they could call me it back, but the messages didn't stop and they really wanted it. Now, other people are against me.

I guess I'll go for the next best choice. :p

I can't help but feel I'm getting the cold shoulder

for thinking someone wanted me to call them the "n" word.

So, I just didn't get a new profile...

http://www.imdb.com/user/ur34343434/boards/profile

How do you think I feel?

It was funny. I had it on the wrong number but figured it out, that I had too many digits, because I was gonna post about how I was mad.

Oh yea

I had pet my brother, which I usually don't because anyway we're not together much, and my dad seemed upset and said that's a cute baby when I saw one hanging on a sling or whatever.

I was just acting normally to my brother, not trying to encourage him to be mean to my dad. The idea just came up.

My parents seem to play around with me not doing something a certain way the first time.

Also, like, my dad decided to be non-conforming in some ways socially, well not really, but like it's not okay to touch someone when they do something wrong or something.

Perturbed

So, my brother was walking funnily at the mall, like I said, so I shoved a bit against him walking through some tables and got in front. We had just gotten yogurt.

I guess my dad knew. I'm feeling funny about it, now. I don't like being picked on because I'm not perfect. I can't help it. I try to be, but sometimes I'm not. There's no hope for the future if people chose to linger on things like this. It's not like they get in trouble when they're wrong and affect others's lives.

I want to be a movie star, an actress, and it seems like my dad thought of TV and movie after I did that. Then, some workers at the restaurants at the mall sounded like they said, some overly exuberant girl "stinky" like "is it STINKY" in great pleasure. I think the guy who made the noise got in trouble, too.

Also, at Disney, once, Epcot, the whole family came this time and my brother pushed his food against my dads's. He was supposed to move it or something.

Lately, my dad's been taking on some traits of racist people, like we don't matter, but it's funny he's not always like that so then why be like that at all? I guess it's not normal to concentrate on race. He thinks he's not thinking of race when he does these things, though, so who knows?

I deleted some posts.

"The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

I didn't remember to record it manually Monday and it won't show on Thursday and Friday because of a golf game. Clips are posted online, usually, though.

New Photos and Videos of Me

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Rest of the Night

Maybe, I'll go make some food to eat and watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

Ooh, I have some pictures and videos.

..I must...

"have a sick mind." ':p

Ughh!

Now, I'm still haunted with my ideas of vile.

What happened to provoke this? Let's see, what else can I do? Some "things" are so bad that they might seem to fit the bill, but it still is unacceptable. I fear people will miss this. I know I was surrounded by kids always saying their parents or whoever is gonna kill them. I couldn't stand it. I worried one day I would be like that. I was a little as an adult but not exactly. Then, the "n" word thing happened and it really got to me. Gladly, the effects seem to be wearing off... ? I probably need to figure that out more. It seems no one cares about my hygiene issues, my getting uncomfortable often if I'm not fresh from the shower and home. I look funny sometimes after I go out and sometimes not. I had a good picture after going out for a smoothie and a walk around our old neighborhood with my brother, but only the 1st one was the best. I guess I could simply change my view and say just not to do something, but I just tried that and it didn't work. I get worked up when people get worked up over my imperfections as a perfectionist, though technically I'm more of a romantic type..

:'( You know, really, some people like that stuff, but obviously they do know that it isn't right. I know I'm getting better taking better care of myself.

It's sorta a dream the days between now and when I went to the mental hospital. I came back on a lotta medicine, which was reduced and once raised and then reduced again. My dad is having me split my pills and take them every day, whereas before I took one pill of a higher dosage every 3 days. I was doing good on my medicine and being in check talking to my grandma on the phone every day. I was taking a high dosage. We made a trip to a place we used to live I remember and then I got my medicine raised. The place though was the nation's oldest continuing city. It's probably because we didn't stay in the oldest school house long enough, my brother and I. Some people were coming in I guess, a lot of tan people.. My brother wanted to go. I told my mom before I officially stepped out something. The trip wasn't perfect in the end. I don't see why something always has to happen.

I got off my medicine and went back to the hospital and then had to take it again. I had a good time until my brother came home and then my birthday. Things seem a bit shaky now. I'm supposed to remember things, but I keep forgetting them. Orlando is a friendly place, a bit messed up though obviously. Like, not only do I need to remember, which I haven't thought of since saying so until now, to not get mad when people are thinking of some bad things but saying they don't mean any harm in thinking of these things here...

...you know, I remember now, pretty much if you step out of line in Florida that's the end. You get your dignity back if you meant well.

So, I'm supposed to not get mad at people.

Also, I'm pretty good at not thinking people are the "s" word. I had a problem with that for a time. Recently, though, thoughts of the "k" word have come up. I don't know what crazed me, but I think it's something that's going to be wearing off, too late as it is. I suppose there are some things that are unexpected. Like, what if someone hit the place in my body where my female things are? I probably would react with the "k" word in my head or push them. I kinda pushed my brother a bit when he was walking funny in front of me at the mall after we got something to eat, some yogurt. We all had yogurt like I wanted I just realized except my mom got Oriental food. I had just eaten I know, some leftovers I made. I suppose I've made a scenario where I'd use the "k" word in my head, so now maybe I won't. It's too bad I have it in me to fool around with that word. Right now, I'm petrified at the thought of it. You know, when I was jogging, there was a loud siren of an ambulance and maybe firetruck. I think I heard 2 or 3 police, as well during my jog, before that I think.

Today, also, I felt that my thoughts were to be smashed of having babies and grandchildren just because I was thinking of something critical. I feel I have "special" rules in the wrong way that don't make sense. I think people care if you're down like that, though. So, good thing I didn't do anything about that.

People sometimes seem to want to make me in trouble in ways that still don't make sense.

People seem to think it matters that I get ridiculed.

?

I think something bad is catching on. I'm a bit mad about the grandchildren thing. I was kinda mellow about it, at first. I guess it's kinda okay, but you know it's so bad that this happened. I know these people do get in trouble, but people act like they're so high and mighty. I guess I sorta mangled the whole idea, myself, you might say.

I'm not one to not say what's on my mind as though it'd mess something up. I suppose something's up... I dunno?.. I'm curious about these things because I wasn't brought up to hold things in when they're meant to be discussed, like I think I can think of what I want though I do gauge myself with dignity to not really think of certain things, so maybe I'll learn to be more tactual. *sigh*

Monday, June 11, 2012

Some things might seem wary

but sometimes you need to be careful if the sun shines too brightly.

Or...

you can change the rules to meet your "needs." Just have a whim and see if you click.

Did you ever notice that after you do something

is when the bargaining begins?

I edited this post.

Post

groggy :p

I suppose it's almost time for supper.

I guess some people just decide to do away with the whole thing.

That's something that shouldn't happen, in a way. I suppose it makes some sense. So many people are unwilling to plow through certain thoughts. I mean, that's what I'm doing. I guess some people just like fluff.

Feeling Your Way

It's just too bad how people hold onto things unnecessarily or unseemingly...

I suppose some things need to be dealt with. I can see the humor in it, but some people who are detached from reality of things decide to barge in with their own impressive logic that they themselves do not have to follow, whereas for some reason I end up having to. People had been fantasizing for some reason testing out seeing if they could control me when I said the "n" word thing was something different people ended up having me do.

WHAT'S going on?

I guess people just couldn't hold it, any longer. Gonna get into trouble!

Some things don't make sense and drag on. People have too much liberty on their hands while I have virtually none.

I'm not sure how the feeling must have spread nor decisions made. I don't go by what I feel. I go by what I conclude. How can you go by what you feel? I do have feelings. They usually mean something. They result in finding the answer to something. I don't like feel my way through things in a certain way.

It's just too bad. You think some people have some guidelines then find out that something else happens...

New Videos of Me Singing

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Strange

I mean, before things were kinda cool to me. Now, they're not. I guess people don't like being overly smotherly as a regular habit because they must feel it belittles them as a person if done in extreme. I dunno. What if the world became that? I suppose they'd start taking things as they are rather than doing it just for the wrong reason|s.

Sad, as it is.

I wish people would get a life or something. This is ridiculous and beyond ... or besides the point. People should judge things as they are and not make up excuses for it. :(

So, no one does accept the truth.

I guess they will pay for it.

This has been rehashed.

It might be because

I went to the mental hospital.

I mean, it must have mattered. I don't trust people, anymore.

I guess I was astonished

that the pact was sorta broken.

...Followup?

Well, I don't really see the sense in it, but all in all it must be a good thing otherwise.

Why...

...do people sometimes suddenly decide they will be the one to be overly smotherly to someone because of something that happened to them, when it's more their fault and something bad they did?

People are too hooked onto the idea of well who did it and not what really happened. How would you describe that?

Just Got Caught up on Julie Andrews

New Pictures of Nell Burton

Nell Burton

Sunday, June 10, 2012

'T'won't be long.

I go somewhere tomorrow morning.

So, blast me for something I didn't do!

I can't react?

Do you ever

try to make it so that sometimes people do the wrong things so the world seems normal but find if you didn't do that that you would have done something wrong, anyway? I don't think that should strike a chord in anyone. :/ If so, they are a bad person. I feel victimized.

Being Weird

If normally I am right, why do people get mad at just that? My life has become more complex, and I am still right. Things are just weird.

Maybe, there's things I did, but it's all either something beyond my reach or about a misunderstanding. :/

What I Did Wrong

People have problems with me supposedly thinking they are shit and stuff, but that was already something I didn't want to have pop up in my mind!

I thought we had this shit together.

My Brother's Dog

He needs to get a grip. He's the one who identified with having a dog. He's so sick. He's in the doghouse, not everyone else.

Fine, I'll just

call someone's kid a nigger and try to discern who they will be or are.

My Dad

He seems to think he has an Irish side. He figures some people can be mean to others, and others can't even if that's not what they meant.

My brother has problems.

He has a sick, twisted mind. He thinks he can bring up and unsettle the past. He's always been a confusing person, simply. Perhaps life is too simple and people try to make it complicated, or it's too complicated and people have problems simplifying it.

I tried explaining to my mother...

I told my mom, she put an idea in my head! Now, it's just stuck. I guess she wants to have a bit of fun but my family is so negative and never do anything for the right reasons, not that anyone does or could seeing as how they are.

This is so worthless! Literally. And NO I didn't do anything.

My brother was acting up and my parents always let my brother get away with having an attitude, sometimes was constantly.

Then, my mom decided to have an issue, as well.

My family is sick in creating bad fantasies over me, when things are just calm.

Was there ever a time...

...when, a good person, you felt encouraged to your subconscious to let out your feelings in certain situations? Of course, there's always our conscience and things we do not need it on. :(

My Grandma and Aunt

Well, my dad will talk to my grandma today. I really hope she is doing well. Next month when I have more money again, I should get her a card. It's too bad she doesn't use the internet because that would be so much fun!

I have to e-mail my aunt back. I had a good time with her recently.

About getting my grandma a card, well, I guess I could wait until July 4th. There are so many holidays!

Things That Come Up

It seems that things come up that weren't supposed to.

Over It Some

I am somewhat over it. I am happy with myself, just slightly bored I guess. It is a bit funny. I still am like I was before, in some ways, but it would be nice to get in touch with how I was.

An Animal and Not a Person

I look more like an animal now, too. I looked like a person before. I looked very human, which I find interesting.

I'm worried

my grandma will do something to make my future worse. I don't need her to constantly get at me for things I've done in tight situations. I even wonder if it's her fault these things happened. I don't know why she desensitized me like that, must have startled me when I wasn't feeling so well. I mean, I just lost everything. It must have been not only the "n" word thing but in conjunction that with some things I said with my dad. I don't know why I felt the need to say what I said. It seems my dad liked being more open, but he doesn't say those kinds of things himself. I was sorry I said it. I'm overall a good person. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I felt that guilt. I am more bored with myself. She shouldn't have done that!

So

I'm thinking I can't call her every day. I'm thinking of calling her once a week starting at the beginning of the school year. :p Or just once in awhile, maybe not that often or maybe not at all. I have to send her a letter saying I'm not talking now. I told me aunt to tell her, though.

So, I'm still mad.

Ever since I talked to my grandma on the phone once and I simply said I don't know if I'll go without eating for a long time again or not and maybe some other things, I looked more simple. I had just gotten my contacts and was looking more detailed because I could exchange what I saw. I even felt my nose's bump go away while we were talking.

She had me call her every day and do a Bible reading, but I stopped on my birthday. She was always onto me since a certain point and acting like she can do anything in the world and owns me or everybody, but that doesn't seem to be true, essentially.

I'm so mad. What happened to me? My face is so plain. I mean, I'm faring well, but what is this? I can't change the past and all the good things that happened, but that was wrong. She acts like she has liberty over me, as do other people. I even saw today someone retreat feeling hurt by what someone else thought of them after they were mean to me.