Christina Barrett: 06/29/12

Friday, June 29, 2012

So, literally

...you felt you couldn't even do something before, but swindle someone and suddenly that thing is stellar out-of-this-world against another person?

Did something come and hit you in the head? LOL

Ouch! I've been hit in the nose by balls.

Why do people not get that I thought my life was an experiment and that they seemed to play along? Didn't they know I had problems from being told to leave taking voice and majoring in music education?

I can see the circumstances

and how they work, but why insinuate something different ... because you have no control over it.

I was on the edge of my seat, literally.

On the side.

It looks like people are trying to tease me

and humiliate and defraud me.

Why punish me for

parents acting like I was nicer than their own kids? I've always denied the favor.

If someone acts like they want you to do something concerning them, sometimes you do it.

I just don't want to sit here and talk about nothing.

I actually went and cleaned my contact lenses.

Now, I can see better. I've slept in them for like 2 or 3 days! 8o

Someone can't say

when they were not tested that they need not identify with the truth in why someone was wronged.

I guess the "n" word thing is making me upset.

People are taking liberties.

It has allowed me to get into some things that wouldn't have been gone into.

I also figured out that there are some things people don't do, necessarily, at least I'd pray not.

Do you think I don't know what I'm doing?

Don't go trying to blame someone else.

I mean the "n" word thing.

Everyone's been pretty smug and out of their league, lately.

Does that actually make you smile?

You shouldn't be rewarded for something you did wrong.

I already am pretty positive.

It's obvious I know what I'm doing.

People can't suddenly act like I ruin|ed their lives. Everything has a place!

People can't be mean to me

because someone else wanted me to call them the "n" word. People are unrelenting.

They think that means my whole life should change.

I try to see what's up, and they don't change! They just leave me hanging all the time.

I'm tired of them playing around and starting things.

People do things that are over my head and then punish me for it.

Oh, well

Sorry I was upset, just had some thoughts to get across. Everything's good.

I guess I'm so well-respected

people need to acknowledge their thinking of curse words to steer their frustrations away from one so high.

Why would anyone need the guidance of their parents

past mid-life crisis? No, this is not just to be funny nor witty.

Some people were born to fight.

That's just what I thought.

See, I never attack anyone for who they are.

...but I know people who do and think it's okay, even. They think that no one can criticize them, even in their thoughts.

I contend like others if not more.

There is no reason to go flipping around ideas just to make things work out!

My life is bad.

There is nothing good about going through something that happened with no end for over 2 years.

Ugh!

I don't have to be a perv like everyone else.

People keep attacking me, some, mentally, refusing to think I successfully went through life doing nothing wrong. I know some people who are nicer than others and more warm and fuzzy. I just got this feeling that someone wants to ruin my life or hurt people who I've had conflict with, which is understandable beyond the point of needing to be told anything, as though others had an idea about it.

:p Well, the 1st sentence has nothing to do with the paragraph.

It seems

people have managed to somehow ruin my life, anyway, but then again no one likes me forever. :p

What do people I talk to sometimes even think about?

Something That Doesn't Make Sense

Some people have experienced an abundance of good will while others suffer having virtually none their whole lives.

Being mean

is never a sign of being a smart person.

You had no right to literally transmit to me

and just me that I was a nigger.

You already yourself were not serious.

You have no right to feel the need for pity for someone doing something you told them to do.

People know they're wrong.

They're mean to me with an attitude and think no one will look at them funnily.

I would experience gratification in the action of calling someone who's quite mean to me in our relationship the "n" word, but I would never chose to do so, unless someone wanted to do it for fun, which is what some people forget is what happened, for some reason. There are still some crazy people about, but for the bulk of it I'm innocent now.

Punishing People

I guess it's funny...

What happens when the dust clears

and you realize you've managed to humiliate someone?

You realize that they didn't do anything wrong, like repeatedly or whatever ... they might have done some things wrong but aren't ultimately bad.

I do try to keep respect, but I fear that people think I should like torture myself or act perverted because I as a person don't like being perverted, as though that were some kind of appropriate punishment for what I did.

Sometimes, I do get upset, but I actually try to keep that down. I just feel a bit hurt about being insulted racially.

Punishing People

People just ignore that the "n" word thing is not how they'd like to believe it is, to feel that it foils them.

I guess sometimes

good people do get in trouble if they prove they have an evil side, ultimately.

I know

you're supposed to talk about things that you need to go through to figure out, like on a blog. When I got a site at a difference service, though, I was less inclined to talk, as much.

Every time I comment on something now

people ignore me. They think I'm bad. That's because they're wrong and afraid to admit it.

People do keep missing what really is.

I don't see where I'd fit into this nonsense.

My life doesn't seem to have any purpose.

If that's how people feel, they should leave me alone.

I can't believe a lot of my relationships have been ruined. Can you like people and have them not do the right things to you, like you don't matter, when you've always been acknowledged as being okay and you try to be okay and people used to see that?

I need my life straightened out, now. I'm tired of listening to people who know they're wrong.

Doing things

just because someone messed up and then ruining your life over it ... isn't nice. Some things don't agree with me, but I usually go back and revisit things nowadays. Also, it feels that people think my life is trash since I've started opening up or something.