Christina Barrett: 07/06/12

Friday, July 6, 2012

The towels

are wet in the dryer, and my mom's clothes are on top. I was gonna do the towels. We have to do them every other day, it seems.

I'm guessing supper was taken out.

I'm apprehensive to go out into the kitchen in order to set the table, now, just not the right mood, but I need to eat and wash the dishes.

People these days are excited with power.

It's nice to be able to eat full meals out

with my family.

Ever since I thought someone wanted me to call them the "n" word

like I'm out doing chores instead of resting in my room alone.

I'm not even supposed to have to do anything.

This is just gay.

I feel more tired now.

:(

How evil. I bet it was something lame like how|the way my mother closed the car doors.

Wasting My Time Talking About This Boy

The one who made me think of his thumb and my nose together while I was drinking from the water fountain at the gym and in conjunction with the thought of having a grandkid. I don't like when boys think they have a handle on you, like hypnosis. I could have slapped him, but I didn't even think of it. I can't do that or I'd get in trouble. This boy was not being cool.

Now, I'm apprehensive to enter the kitchen.

I wanna help with supper and eventually will come out and at least set the table. I wonder if supper is even ready, probably not. I dunno, I heard the car door slam several times in succession.

People With Nothing to Do

just spend their lives whittling away at mine.

I don't know why people are so mean to me.

They assure me in my good behavior regularly that, yes, I'm a good person, but started to act like there was something wrong with me, I swear, every time Johnny comes out with something big. I seen it happen.

I just forgot what I was gonna say!

I think my mom's home.

My brother hasn't been seeming very nice, lately.

He thinks he's over and above me and in on the thing where someone acted like I should call them the "n" word.

My brother is preparing strawberries.

Okay, so I didn't prepare any vegetables.

Since my brother isn't preparing anything, that means my mom is bringing something home. I'm not preparing vegetables, at this point, because my brother is in the area watching TV.

I guess you can get away if

others accept you.

The sound affected

the back of my head, the inside. Wow. What was that? See, that's one reason not to live here, but it's nice.. not the same as up north, in ways. I'm not sure what my decision is. I just don't like getting into conflict. The conflicts here are more pre-meditated.

When People Act Up

When they're in their front yard.

I heard an angry sound

as abounds in Orlando. It'll go away.

I have a feeling my mom is bringing home dinner.

I was thinking of doing the vegetables earlier but forgot and was a bit sluggish. I've been dieting lately and am feeling more awake. I'm also trying to pick something to read.

I could save the vegetables for later.

I guess the chosen issue is

that my mom might have something special planned for dinner.

Dilemma

I am wondering if I should advance to chop up some vegetables for supper that I actually got for lunch. My brother is watching TV, and it's a big day tomorrow. My mom usually caters dinner.

New Picture of Me

Photobucket

Hmm.

Something funny. I wonder what did it. Let's see if I can not do it, anymore. How to fix the past? D:

Ah! Why did this have to come up?

Nooo. At least, I didn't mean anything directly, I hope.

Some people

lose track of what they claimed was important and instead are lost in some fantasy of thinking they have the authority to "punish" others, when they themselves have done things they would punish. So, they don't know what's going on.

sigh

No one was eager to solve the problem

nor to come to terms with the truth in the message.. which would be better off solved privately and left alone!

People these days are so

inhibited by current and past events.

So, I didn't really do anything wrong.

I may have, but it wasn't for a bad reason.

My friends

act like that, too. Though, everyone acts like they know I'm pretty much a perfect person and that bad things happen to me because of it..

I guess it all started

when I got upset my friends didn't e-mail me...

Pretty Much

I'm a good person. I don't get people circling around me like witches, as though I'm a case. I run into awkward situations. It's too bad.

New Photo of Me From Yesterday

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Crossing Boundaries

I guess that's important.

Some people just like to forget their problems, like if they cannot be addressed for some reason, but what's important is that everyone's okay. I would make sacrifices for others.

Okay.

I'm off to eat my soup.

Wow

People who don't have kids themselves are overly concerned about certain things. That's too bad. They don't have the means. I don't have the time for a lot of things, I noticed, which isn't good in a way, though I accept it for what it is. I just trust that things will be okay..

Someone startled me..

..the neighbors set off fireworks.

My right side feels kinda dumbed down. It's the side closest to the fireworks. I think of it, and it feels that way.

My dad looked at me funny

well dropped his keys after handing me my purse and my hand touching the bottom of it and me cleaning my hands with sanitizer and the part of my purse I touched, too. We were bringing in the groceries. He cleaned his hands extra clean at home. It's funny at the gym I cleaned something just in case someone went on it, too, and people seemed to notice my worry. It's just how it was.

Well..

With me you could actually suggest a lot of things that happen.

I have problems, too.

People always act like I don't know things, things that I don't need to be concerned over.

So..

I am concerned about how different people can influence my life because they're older or more esteemed.

Some people think some things are okay that they grew up knowing. I'm not sure if it'd be okay for them, but it's not that anything bad should happen to anyone because nothing is anyone's fault.

Some things to me seem like a sideshow. I guess I do things pretty literally.

Dori in "Finding Nemo"

So, definitely good presence.

Ah!

What I meant about the insulting thing was that if it insults me.

I found out

Ellen DeGeneres played Dori in Finding Nemo. I thought it was good but felt that it was a bit distant...

I can think of something insulting and be happy.

I'm also upset

I thought of the "n" word this weekend when we ate out for the 4th of July. I felt bad from something that happened in the restaurant ...

I found

I do things without thinking.

Weird Suggestions

They just come up. I never intend to.

:'(

Trying to Impress Me

People just think of "some thing" I don't know and present it to me as though it's something. It's like something bad.

Basically, everyone knows, I didn't do anything wrong actually just so happened to physically. They try to make me feel guilty for simply not being perfect.

I also figured they lost sleep and were agitated.

A big thing for me was

wanting to live life in reality just to be right. It's as opposed to living purely in a fantasy.

Sometimes, it's funny

and I'm just gaping. If someone "wants to make a nigger out of me" is just something different, now. It seems it's already happened. Thanks to some gentlemen.

It's not really funny if someone doesn't like it. I never go onto someone with something.

I'm worried. I can't just get away with it. I've dealt with what I've dealt with..

I'm trying not to use curse words, though.

I just forget, and it just happens.

I figured I could call my laundry shit.

This is serious.

Pretty much, people who are nice to me could get thought of as niggers. That's one thing I just realized. The other is that these "curse words" will come up. People won't take a no for using curse words, but it's like not that they'd do it against someone like me. I'm not radioactive.