Christina Barrett

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Was there ever a time...

...when, a good person, you felt encouraged to your subconscious to let out your feelings in certain situations? Of course, there's always our conscience and things we do not need it on. :(

Well, my dad will talk to my grandma today. I really hope she is doing well. Next month when I have more money again, I should get her a card. It's too bad she doesn't use the internet because that would be so much fun!

I have to e-mail my aunt back. I had a good time with her recently.

About getting my grandma a card, well, I guess I could wait until July 4th. There are so many holidays!

Things That Come Up

It seems that things come up that weren't supposed to.

Over It Some

I am somewhat over it. I am happy with myself, just slightly bored I guess. It is a bit funny. I still am like I was before, in some ways, but it would be nice to get in touch with how I was.

An Animal and Not a Person

I look more like an animal now, too. I looked like a person before. I looked very human, which I find interesting.

I'm worried

my grandma will do something to make my future worse. I don't need her to constantly get at me for things I've done in tight situations. I even wonder if it's her fault these things happened. I don't know why she desensitized me like that, must have startled me when I wasn't feeling so well. I mean, I just lost everything. It must have been not only the "n" word thing but in conjunction that with some things I said with my dad. I don't know why I felt the need to say what I said. It seems my dad liked being more open, but he doesn't say those kinds of things himself. I was sorry I said it. I'm overall a good person. I don't know what happened. I don't know why I felt that guilt. I am more bored with myself. She shouldn't have done that!

So

I'm thinking I can't call her every day. I'm thinking of calling her once a week starting at the beginning of the school year. :p Or just once in awhile, maybe not that often or maybe not at all. I have to send her a letter saying I'm not talking now. I told me aunt to tell her, though.

So, I'm still mad.

Ever since I talked to my grandma on the phone once and I simply said I don't know if I'll go without eating for a long time again or not and maybe some other things, I looked more simple. I had just gotten my contacts and was looking more detailed because I could exchange what I saw. I even felt my nose's bump go away while we were talking.

She had me call her every day and do a Bible reading, but I stopped on my birthday. She was always onto me since a certain point and acting like she can do anything in the world and owns me or everybody, but that doesn't seem to be true, essentially.

I'm so mad. What happened to me? My face is so plain. I mean, I'm faring well, but what is this? I can't change the past and all the good things that happened, but that was wrong. She acts like she has liberty over me, as do other people. I even saw today someone retreat feeling hurt by what someone else thought of them after they were mean to me.

I deleted some posts and edited 1.

Post

New Pictures and Videos

Photobucket
Photobucket

YouTube

Multi-Dimensional

I guess some people have different ways of communicating, I guess?.. I guess I don't have anyone to be risque with. =^..^=~ Not that I want nor need to. I can do it with myself, I guess. ~>^..^<

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Stop suggesting things to me.

Every time someone does something wrong to me

they get at me for being upset at all.

I WANTED TO EAT OUT IN THE KITCHEN

LEAVE ME ALONE

People won't stop sending me suggestions.

I was talking to my dad, then my mom called right after they had left and we waved to them and then he said he had to go to the bathroom. I came out, in a somewhat okay mood but not perfect with my earplugs in and then my dad turned on some talking really loudly on his computer. I know he'd be in trouble with his mom for that. It's just disgusting. It's gay.