Christina Barrett

Sunday, June 24, 2012

I kinda forget

oh nevermind.

Um, hard to think of without letting slip my mind...

Okay, I can see one thing ...

Um ... Okay ... I guess things, however trivial, end up being dealt with.

There are certain things in how you deal with a person

that can't be just shy of calling them the "n" word.

Why can't you people, like, all realize that..

..I'm always right, in the end! I can figure this out! I admit I've had some technical trial and error issues. You didn't help me out enough, though, and didn't seem to let my life steer in the same way!!

They have this desire

to control every facet of your life. They flip around what you've done to them, I'm guessing, except the situation is different, which is what is actually at least also important or important to just be okay. It shouldn't be bland, though. I shouldn't be told I'm very different in a way that people can't get to me and then think I could actually mess up my whole life without doing much and then saying I'm like everyone else when everyone else is mean to me.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Why are people acting like they can do better than me?

0: Huh? What all is going on, here? People have reassured me too much that I was okay how I was, like my intentions within my environment and how I dealt with things.

I'm still recovering!!

I feel like I'm gonna crumble. It's, like, from being tired!

You DO

acCEPT other people's misunderstandings.

Something IMPORTANT I Figured Out, Today

Jesus was WRONG!!!

First, I posted in a YouTube I deleted that Jesus set a bad example for other to follow. Why, you say? That means we should live a life of suffering and dying early, on a cross.

You can't turn the other cheek. That's perverted. Only a perv would do that. You can't get all funny and phoney. It's indecent! You walk away and don't give a smile!

aw, there there

~:)

I am starting to figure things out.

Oh, so

I forgot why I almost posted this.

Being Fake

I forgot why I almost posted this.

Building Blocks

I almost forgot why I almost posted this.

I can't believe you could be so ... ? ... uhh :p ... for some reason, it's not coming to me, in this way!

I can't believe you could *grovel* in self-pity removed from modern life yet disconnected from ancient traditions.

*where are you*

Now, I forgot what it was.

It doesn't look good.

I just talked about this.

Or like holding bait for them

and hoping they throat it.

You can't get anything

and everything for doing someone a favor.

I'll address I'm sorry if I'm rude, but-

I don't want to feel close to everyone|anyone in a certain way. If that says enough. I don't see how people don't realize what they're doing and who they are compared to someone else.

"Okay! I'll say it!"

I'm worried that people I should meet die. :| Uh, no one should DIE. Well, like, I care about some people, see, and I'm worried no one really cares what happens to the people I look up to or care about.

Reading Minds

I don't have time to make up things right now, but I thought of something when the TV was on, a sentence that was about 5 words, and the person on TV said it a few seconds later. There was a pause in the air before. It wasn't common.

It bothers you

in the process, which is hard to pinpoint, if I want to have a big nose, which I do, but it's not very pointy. When I went out, someone made my nose feel more spread out. It was getting bigger at the top, but it inflated at the bottom.

ALLOW ME TO FOLLOW UP ON THAT

I AM FREE TO TALK ABOUT HOW RACIST YOU ALL ARE

IT'S CAWLED

FREEDOM OF SPEECH

SO

Then, you weren't clear on your terms. You acted like because I was brutalized that you wouldn't mind, since I didn't brutalize you nor anyone in return, that it would be okay for me to slip up with you but then to spread it like no one knows what's going on!!! !!! !!!

OKAY

I DON'T NEED TO BE CALLED A MONGOLOID DAY IN AND DAY OUT ANY TIME I TALK ABOUT HOW RACIST YOU PEOPLE ARE ... HOW DARE YOU THINK ME A NEGRO AS A LAST RESORT

So

...what I say offends you? That I didn't do it through my own will but because I was pushed to do it? Why not push me NOT to do it?

YOU SHOULD DROP IT

WHY IN THE WORLD DO YOU THINK I WOULD CALL SOMEONE A NIGGER?

The problem is

people forget about how some things are generally okay and think that like they have to be a way that is impossible to be, like in how you try to communicate earnestly.

Why do things like that, in the first place?

I found out today people are crazy about not wanting to admit how things actually are and can't see it in another way.

vents

*breathing*

QUIT ACTING LIKE I DID SOMETHING WRONG

Is that so hard to un der stand?

I SEE YOU DON'T LIKE ME

QUIT TREATING ME LIKE A NIGGER

AND RUINING MY LIFE

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THE HELL I'M TALKING ABOUT

DON'T BLAME SOMEONE ELSE FOR SOMETHING YOU DID

GET OUT OF MY LIFE, YOU WHORES

DON'T GET MAD AT ME

FOR SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO DO

So, obviously, you niggers,

you do reflect what you want. What you look like shows who you are because it's your doing on your own life. You can tell what a person does and wants, and that shouldn't compromise someone else in the relationship.

I do listen to what others say and learn.

It seems I'm being made to feel that way when I was never mean to anyone.

Oh, I see!

So, just act like everyone else. When did this nonsesnse enter my life?

PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS MEAN TO ME

ABOUT BEING CHINESE

As Long as I'm Not Made to Die

Please, don't be a ditz.

Why would you let someone in your life in order to

make fun of you and make you feel bad about yourself, like you're older?

You were supposed to follow through with something!

Not act like a ditz about it, but I'm sure you couldn't act any differently about what you did. Or is it really not your fault?

Some people don't even know where to focus their thoughts.

And others get upset at you for overstepping boundaries that have been made. Learn to deal with your depth. That depth must be dealt with, in the proper way. Fine, go insult someone who's done nothing wrong to you and then make them feel bad for doing what you wanted!!!

Don't get mad, you!

You can't get mad at someone for doing when you obviously wanted them to do. I'm not listening to you, anymore!!!

Pushed to Do the Wrong Thing

There are some things people think they can get into that hurt the ones we love and don't realize that you matter. Now, I have to worry about things. Well, I guess they make sense in a way. You just have to address the issue, but it really shouldn't have and couldn't have happened in the first place.

What Something Says

Someone creates what's special for you in some ways and then for some reason that mocks you takes that away. It's like it's never about you in that way... People need to stop telling me they hate me because they think I'm better. That's a crazy thought.

My life makes no sense.

I've accomplished a lot and made to feel like I'm nothing. I've been told to do crazy things. I already have a framework of what's right and wrong. I've been pushed by those I trusted to step out of certain boundaries or admired for stepping into some.

I guess things are easy for me.

People want to be on top and create crazy reasons for things and then take back what they seemed to present.

It's funny when you want to turn a good person into a bad person. You shouldn't feel you have anything against someone who actually meant no harm. I've seen people look you in the eye who've even lost a child!

I just don't like when people tell me I have no purpose.

I don't mind a lot of things. Really. :|

I guess people go in feeling guilty.

They do things that are wrong like lie about you somehow.

Maybe, I've committed something I'm unaware of.

It sure seems that way.

There are some things you can't get away with. There are some things you don't seem like you really intend to do and for the reason you weren't meant to say something.

Something That Bothers Me

If someone promises you something, in how they act and what you get the drift of, if they take it back for no reason upsets me.

I mean, no reason means that you don't really have any problems, but someone choses to find fault in what you do. Things annoy people for no reason. It's hard to know what anyone wants these days. I guess they want to keep lying.

How Much I've Actually Practiced Singing

I dunno, I did a lot. I did a lot of piano once I got into Talented Music and did a lot when I still lived in Florida.

Um, I didn't like anyone to hear me sing, so that prohibited me from practicing more, but eventually or somehow rather I did. I know because I've done it a lot and now remember doing it for my dad. I had a lamp with 3 fixtures or whatever in different colors and would perform. I don't know how old I was, but it was probably 13 or 14 +.

I did well in singing in college, but they made it sound like I didn't because maybe I didn't do very well in the end. I took too many courses. I was unable to memorize my piano stuff because I didn't put in that extra effort. I was kinda sent home altogether and told like I can't go back to singing. It's a nice college, but I don't think the plane money would be worth it now, moving after the hurricane. We used to live by it.

See, if you didn't really mean something bad

that's not what's there to fix!

You can't just go blaming people for things

you don't like.

New Photos and Video of Me

Photobucket
Photobucket

YouTube
YouTube

Why is it some people's goals

to be critical of others?

I wonder which side they came from...

How can someone be right

if they claim to be wrong?

Like, they say that at first you can be who you want. Then, they even brush their own selves aside all in one package and relate it to you.

New Video of Me Singing

YouTube

New Pictures and Videos of Me

I'm not sure if there's any photos in the 1st Photobucket album.

Photobucket
Photobucket

YouTube
YouTube

New Photos of Me

Photobucket

The videos are coming along the way, but no need to look forward to anything for they are just me in the bathtub. *sigh*

Tomorrow could be

a good day for "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" .... wait I don't think it makes a difference. *shrugs* I mean, I'll probably busy both Saturday and Sunday, so I should see it Sunday night.

I'm deciding what color to paint my nails.

Hm. This is tough.

I cut myself.

I didn't need new holes, after all.

Ah!

Well, I'm just punching another hole in my new belt.

Friday, June 22, 2012

This might be important.

I just realized I think my faults are because of something I did later, but I've had these flaws already.

Time to Jump in the Shower

Oooh!

Princess Merida

princess-merida

Social Networking

I really wanted to do most everything on MySpace, but the blog doesn't have an archive.

I guess the bad thing now is I have 2 Facebooks. I probably won't use the old one, unless someone talks to me there.

D: How did you know?

Someone thought something to me, and I was a big aghast, as per usual. It what went through my mind when I was offended on some level, highly suggestive in ways mentally speaking.

When I'm Watching "The Ellen DeGeneres Show"

I think I'm gonna watch "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" tonight like late. :( I want to start watching it when it comes on in the day, but it's fun watching it late at night when no one's around, too. *shrugs* :/

New Deviant

Deviant

I fixed the broken link.

New Pictures and Videos of Me

Photobucket
Photobucket

YouTube
YouTube

Thursday, June 21, 2012

I never really did anything wrong.

People think they can pick at my wanting to be perfect and my being human.

These corduroys aren't keeping me warm.

and my sweater shrank.

English people are all snobby.

And I'm a snoot.

My dad doesn't understand the world.

He didn't want me to be treated for nothing but made it happen. It's my aunt's fault, but I don't know why she chimed into what was going on with me at school, which wasn't anything disobedient. :|

People can't be so affective

every time something happens. I think I know who started this nonsense.

That lady was saying

I was soo attractive and that she knows I'm smart. She wants to get me back into drama.

Stupidity

So, I drew a girl and for some reason the eyes were in a little. I don't think that's bad. It just happened. I left it that way because it looked so so good, like nothing you'd ever seen, other than the fact that the eyes were in a little. Stuff like this happens. It doesn't have to mean anything and doesn't mean anything outlandish, just that I'm gonna pay more attention to where I put the eyeballs. :p

I guess

I'm not up for that rap.

I feel a bit inhibited by others being so critical of me.

I felt good seeing the case worker.

I can't believe I have a case worker.

My dad asked my brother to see her, like in order to meet the whole family. I think she suggested him while I sneaked out to go to the bathroom. I don't think my brother is happy about that. Also, my parents are oblivious. I got an African-American lady case worker, which is nice. She seems to really know what she's doing and is very smart about things and respects me greatly. She has some faults. She had to play with a little thing that was falling all over the table. I just got up and left in the middle of them talking. They've been talking for an hour.

My dad is quite agitated, and I bet my mom doesn't approve of that. If you don't do as they wish, they will act like you're gay or a nigger or something.