Wednesday, May 30, 2012

IMDb is down.

Oh, so use the situation to take advantage of me.

So, WHY WAS IT OKAY TO CALL ME A NIGGER ... 1ST!

Stop acting like I did something wrong.

Don't call me a nigger.  If you treat me like this, I can call you whatever I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I don't, but don't rat on me for the morals I have of that word.  I thought they wanted me to do it, anyway, but I wasn't gonna.

Anger takes its toll on me.

I am VERY mad.

Skirting Around

My dad and his sisters are like their mother.  They do something wrong and then act like they're sorry.  Well, I've seen them get in trouble.

After my dad talked to my grandma, it sounded like he called me a nigger!  Then, during a movie, maybe 3|4 in or if anything a little more, he acted like he was stimulating a boy I talk to from England that he knows I talk to. It wasn't just a little thing, but I guess he cowered from his act, a little.  What's worse is when he was done and I went through it on my blog or from talking to him he was convinced he did something wrong.  We had had an okay day.  He yelled at me in between sounding like he was calling me a nigger and acting like he was stimulating the boy!  Why can't I get away with doing away with this nonsense?  Of course, it was like sorta taken back the way he called me a nigger.  Give it a rest, people!  Why can I then not call you something? Why did my dad listen to my grandma?  Also, he has me stay on pills I don't need that made my female thing whittle down to nothing, and they bat at me for their own problems with their son!  It might seem like it's over.  This isn't the 1st time people have played around with over-pleasuring this white boy.  I did everything to deserve respect and not to be called anything for my race when trying to make a conversation about race in general.  My dad keeps saying no one wants to talk about race.  He's sarcastic like his sisters, were, and my grandma apparently is if she influenced him to do all that.  Sometimes, he's acted like he can suddenly allude to my being 1|2 Chinese and barking at me for it!  This is unbelievable.  Thanks for changing the world for the better, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp!  My dad is getting in a better mood, but he still did it and believes there is no consequence.  So, now he listens to the prestige of my mom and not me.  He does, in a way. He's the one who decided to carry this out.  It sounded like he was just relaying what happened with my grandma.  These people in my life are so sarcastic.  I made a point that Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter would call their son gay and in public, so it was proof they WANTED me to have fun and call their daughter the "n" word online.  Instead, they think because this boy has called people who are mean to him retarded that they can do this weird kind of pleasure thinking about him.  Ooh, the animals will think then what if we did that to Christina.  Sometimes, I experience stimulation looking at pictures of spoiled kids, but I don't actually defame them.  This doesn't make sense.  This boy is innocent.  He is extra-good and doesn't deserve to be overly-pleasured in a perverted fashion!  I might experience some satisfaction if we could turn this around, but I hope it just stops.  I want people to listen to me!  Stop treating me like I am more retarded than you!  Stop coming in and taking advantage of me and changing my life.  Ooh, I just saw a big white ghost on the side of my left eye.  A thick opaque one.  I actually saw a ghost earlier today, too.

I feel

the best contribution you can make to others|the world is being healthy, healthy and happy.

Concerned

How did people get precedence not thinking everything is positive and logical?  I pretty much laid down the facts.  There are appropriate ways of behaving and inappropriate ways of behaving.

LOL

I went to get some toilet paper, and there are some things laid out.  I am kinda physical, but it's like ooh.  I somehow made it across in one leap, but I knocked something over on the way back.  I mean, it wasn't like an ant hill or island or anything, but for some reason I just didn't feel like I could do it, this time.

I ... AM ... insane!

Ah ha ha ha ha ha!

Bent over in laughter!

I just wiggled like a snake

laughing feeling all good inside and like rubbah!

I need some peace and quiet.

Ever since that "n" word thing, I haven't been feeling alright.

Take the next step.

So, you're supposed to make decisions more and more on your own.

It's all because of the "n" word thing.

I'm figuring out what I need.  I don't feel I'm a dangerous person.

I'm not really being negative

in light of the situation.  I don't need to be flogged for feeling bad.

People are still lying to themselves about me.

Well, I can do whatever I want back, as long as it is legal!  Don't test me!

Some people's minds won't get off things.

And I'm the one who's not supposed to sort out my reactions.

People are afraid of being ratted out

but they need to leave me alone.

I don't need to go through anyone's laundry list

as a punishment.  I know people would attack me more if I did anything to them now, but I could justify it.

...Did I get into any kind of trouble, in Louisiana?

Uh...

Let's see.  In a way.

Ah h h h ~ Florida niggers!

That's me.  It's not because I'm Native American.

Sometimes, you go way too far.  I feel like a perv!  It's not a place that's all that physically satisfying.  In a way, it feels somewhat grounded, though, if you know what I mean.

I just keep finding improved methods of releasing my steam.  I wish I could do it hands down.  I don't know what's become of me.

A h h h !  I bet it's pretty shocking to a foreigner.  To me, it was depressing.  I felt my weaknesses.

It's like woah this place is deadbeat.  I don't see an escape.

Do people not trust the authority of my decisions?

Like, when I say I don't need any attention?

The Build-Up

Did you ever notice like you can look like a person in how you act but not physically?

Teetering on Meaningless Punishments

People forget how they got to where they came from and don't punish everyone for their worth.

Not Achieving the Impossible at a Certain Point of Life

No justification in the end.

How ... Do people know|guess ... like if something is calculated to be impossible, how can they actually rope the entire situation?

I suppose there exists individual lives.  Different people have different goals set out for them.

It seems like people's purposes

in some if not in all things to do something no one can really emulate.  Surely, people shouldn't have problems with their own fortes, if indeed they are the fortes they set out to conquer.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I hate people.

Why do they code in something to happen to you in the future?  That's not what life's about!!!

People thought they could coat this issue...

...get me to say the "n" word so you think you have a reason for attacking me.  You're not even supposed to attack people in prison, though they are serving their sentence.

I had a good life before this!

People find reason to attack me in public by like crossing in front of me in a funny way or rubbing their hand or making noises in a way that's annoying.

Want to Be Positive

I'm feeling positive now that I figured that out.  ,:|

2 New Photos of Me

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Ghost

A sponge totally jumped off the edge of the sink in the kitchen today when I was cleaning.  I wasn't looking at it.

A Candy-Colored Life With Rose-Colored Glasses

Some people don't realize real problems!  They don't identify it, I mean.  I wonder what happens.

I just have to admit my parents participate in the world or are affected by it because of that whereas I chose to ignore it now.

When I Mean Problems

I guess in my last post I meant trifles of misunderstandings that turn into something big and complex but never fully solved.

Stupid

Solving problems shouldn't happen at the tick marks of feeling uncomfortable and reacting.

I was gonna say something else on a slightly different topic but forget right now.  Oh yea, I'm paving the way for a normal life in Central Florida.

Gay

My parents think I love them so much I want them to stimulate me to feel submissive to them.

Pretty much

my family doesn't know how to get anything done, but I obviously do.  She doesn't usually say things that linger like this for a small initial reason.  She thinks maybe I never got tired of her.  People seem to have issues with how much she respects other people, but she is well-built, just not totally European in a way most people are, I guess.  It's not even about if she's stimulating.  She seems to want to separate me from the people I like who are rather iconic.  I pushed her playfully because she was getting onto me, and I find that gay.

So, something little is actually turning into something pretty big.

I see lots of things about my parents that aren't as good as me, focusing more on my mom I suppose since it seems to be her idea.

Tim Burton might not be genuine to all his fans.

I don't know for sure, and I'm mad because my dad acted like he was stimulating someone in a bad way that I care about.  Also, my mom has disturbed me about my current relationship|s, as well.  She thinks if she says something maybe it will have to be taken care of so leaves little droppings of things if I am not being silly sorry over the "n" word thing, which has taken its toll on me.

Contagious

People are expecting you to die for them and be your slaves.  Why don't we put the stamp on it?

Screaming Banshees

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/banshee

Some people command the attention of millions.  They do it on purpose, but they are allowed to not think and just react.

Do you know or ever heard of this everyday thing where people will rub in relationships in ways they shouldn't?  It's like it was something special for someone else but now it's not?  Some people are good with people and juggling these things somehow.  They seem to have some issues.  I go by some logic.  Um, I don't want this to keep popping up in my personal life.  Pretty much, I don't mind if someone wants attention.  I don't like people who play with thoughts to make them painful and stupid.  I can say what I want about them and command respect.  I need to talk about things.  I feel better if I post them in a blog.  It kind of gets a lot of views.  That way, posting online, people might venture in here and react to it when they post to me.  Some people might like the lyrical background I have in style.

I do have one thing down in life and that is to try to be appealing in a European way.  I'm not quite sure exactly all the reasons other people have for liking European things.

Pretty much, I can accept things, but if something goes wrong I usually end up posting about it.  Maybe, I need to learn to think, again.  I have problems and can't think to myself about things like this.  Without writing them down.  I actually used to write a lot more complexly than this.  I just didn't socialize on the internet.  I did assignments and wrote e-mails.  I write better, now, though and perhaps more easily understood.

In ways, I don't feel safe, but I know it's not my fault and so I will R.I.P. but will not kill myself.  I think the police wanted me dead.  They didn't come to the scene of the crime.  I heard some gunshots.  They didn't do much I think when I called about something online.  I feel pretty safe as I am now.  I just had goals like to be a movie star!  I think everyone should consider acting or modeling.  Girls should consider modeling, guys acting.  Some girls don't want to model.  Models can become movie stars!

So, I just find that it feels funny when you're followed, but it's okay, just something to take note of I guess.  I don't really ask for attention.  I don't like when I do get my expected attention that it gets taken away just because to be racist or mean or something.  I guess I'll just have to accept what comes my way but not do these things myself?  I find that people hate me for no reason and think they can take liberty over me when feelings like that, that I can do something and you can't, shouldn't exist.  I don't know where things like this came from.  That's just sick.  People often swoon over my parents, I know, and leave me in the brush.  It's actually the opposite, people feel warm about my parents yet find me more fun.  I'm simply wondering about the message.  I always am open for people to get attention but not to put me down in the process, like I'm still cool.

I don't need my grandma

influencing the decisions of my parents.  They are always mean to me and deny they know anything about the "n" word thing it seems.  I want to get it settled in the meat.  I cared about my relationship.  My dad talks to my grandma every week.  I wanted a break from talking to her for now.  Every day for 45 minutes took its toll on her.  I know who's up to no good.  No one has to listen to their elders when they are adults because they aren't even supposed to live near them.  My parents like airheads will go along with anything these days to punish me for something I did in the far past that was an accident or misunderstanding, while in general I'm pretty good, considered like perfect, really.  They keep digging into my thoughts, but my thoughts go haywire because of the attacks on me of people reading into my mind about the "n" word.  I don't want any surprises left behind by my grandma to my dad in how they treat me and what we're thinking about.  I don't need to be punished to call my grandma and her not give me a break from her like this.  I think she influenced my dad to make it sound like he called me a nigger and would act like it wasn't her fault and she doesn't approve of the way he did it.  She thinks without being on the computer herself she can conduct what goes on in my life on the computer like 24/7.  She reacts to that, and it affected how her brother spoke to me.  This is not about her.  It's about my mom and dad right now and me being alone on the computer, like before the "n" word thing and what came to pass|follow.

I'm always right.

Why do I need my family?  I knew them living in Orlando while I was in college spelled disaster.

I'm off to catch up on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

I have 2 episodes to finish.  I only just started the 1st one.

I added a link to

Billy Bass to my YouTube of singing it.

http://youtu.be/9nnWkPpa9xU

New Videos of Me Singing

YouTube

Whaat ... is ... this?

4 New Photos of Me

http://photobucket.com/Christina-Barrett

I guess

you can do the right thing without submitting to others.  Just don't do anything but the right thing.  Realize what's important and that you don't have to go all crazy.  Like, realize yes I agree that this is this.  Say, you've been a alot, through a lot to yourself, and you don't get something is all and you know you don't get it, finally.

I'm the best person in the woorld!

You know what counts.

I would never believe it's right to be mean to anyone!  Oh no!

People shouldn't

just be explaining how they aren't doing something the way they should.

You know

concretely it's totally different to say someone has shit than to say they are shit.

If someone does something to you

like, you can defend yourself.  Still, I wouldn't do anything bad unless it were to save my life, which was not this situation to me.

People are still being mean to me.

They want to get me into the sensation that called someone the "n" word on purpose, like I didn't think they wanted it.  I actually thought I got clear sign from multiple sources and the person themself to do so.  I mean, I think we all know people do that and that it just happens and it's not so hard in a way.

Prom

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I guess that finally addresses

the concern about someone's upbringing, hoping only I don't have an excuse.

Why give me one?

I wonder if some babies are born in perfect worlds.  I mean, are they perfect or are they just fortunate|lucky?

Why tell me I have an attitude

just for the heck of it?

But aren't they the ones suddenly claiming

you shouldn't be with your parents, anymore?

You know, a lot of people live with their grandmother and practically with their aunts.

Some people think they were raised right and you were wrong.

Maybe, I'm just a pervert?

I dunno.

I don't believe in doing stupid things

but I guess people in Orlando do.  Who cares?

I edited the link to the 1st picture of my last picture post.

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Wow, the situation isn't even

an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.

Some people are not so bad and do things for reasons!

Some people are so lost.

People have made exceptions to the rules.  The truth remains the truth.  Things happen for reasons.

Why can't some idiots just shut up?

People need to learn to make better decisions.

I don't need other people's crap.

Now, who's in trouble?

How could it not being as bad as it could be

be okay and since when are crazy things allowed only for some people?

Some people don't like to think.

Some people change the rules in the process.

As though there ever were any!  Some things remain unspoken for a time.

Some people have no finesse.

You know, some things are important to other people.

People have crazy terms and conditions.

Some people are just jealous.

THAT'S TOO BAD

Held at Brink and Mistakes

People are crazy about what would happen to them in certain situations.

Every heard of if you like to do it at all then keep doing it?

2 New Old Photos of Me

1

2

I did ask 1st

about special situations, or did I?

So, some people seriously pick at other people

even if it's out of place and boring.

So, people prefer bad people who you can expect consistency from

rather than a one time blunder?

How does that get the victim in trouble in the end???

So, people can get annoyed if your good at something

and make a big statement out of it somehow.

I guess you just can't escape

getting things right.

It's funny how maybe there isn't always a reason for everything, though, like you've done something unforgivable, even if you're sorry and it was an accident, anyway.

When people have problems

they blame someone else for something else.

Why do people automatically look for more people to blame?

Who never heard of it's no one's fault?

It seems like some people were subconsciously

trying to rub something in.

I guess some people have kinda

a bad history of disillusioning me.

Why do people think

that it can't be that I'm okay, that there was a reason for everything?  That's the kind of person I am.  It might not be all okay in ways.  The point is though that I guess that logic for some reason exists.

I shouldn't be put in certain situations.

A lot of good people

have stopped to gain more weight.

Sometimes, the best people go through rough times.

Like, they get sick, but they're still better off than anyone else for making the sacrifices and decisions that they did.

It's funny what makes people come to care.

People who do wrong things on a daily basis are let to go like they're worthless.

Why didn't my parents before

go through the rules of etiquette by practicing them?

How can people claim to do things they don't do?

Like being genuinely nice.

I fixed the link in the last photo post.

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Why do people want me to share their burden|sorrow?

Why me?  Why am I up for grabs?

It's funny how those "smart" people aren't good enough.

I guess they don't have to get punished because their lives were different.

New Photo of Me From a Long Time Ago

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People seem to think that life should be easy, just for them.

It probably is.

People are so mean and don't know what they're doing.

They're not even in the same situation, and that was the problem to begin with.